I Never Thought
by iclingtoo88
Summary: this is my first so idk what to say
1. Chapter 1

**AN:sorry for any miss spells and what not i hope you enjoy let me know if i could keep going or not**

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See I never saw myself being in the Military, let alone in war. Well home from war, I stepped off the train, and waiting for me was my mother, and sister, (dad was never around anyway) I never worried too much about the difference from the air of home to the air of war. It smells like home, hell it even looks like home. And then you hear you speak

"Santana my baby, I can't believe it you're home" my mom I tell ya, you would think I was in a war… wait wasn't I in a war? I was. I'm freaking out cause I don't know what to say you, '_mom I missed you the war was war I cannot talk about it it's too hard please don't touch me' _but no I don't I can't say that to you, "momma I miss you so much" I gave you the best warm smile I could bring up and warped my arms around you.

"and you kido where the hell did my little sister go?!" I look at Mia she was 16 now she looks just like our mom, "Kido? Really Santana? I'm 16 not 10". That's when it hit me I was gone for 6 years, 6 FUCKING years. "I'm still shocked they let you serve seeing as you don't seem to fit the ideal of an "American woman" so tell me Tana tell me how did you manage to make them believe you weren't some kind of hostel in a women's body?" me being me I really don't care anymore, so people look at me weird, you want to know what I did over there, I sat in a tent, controlling the bots we used to defuse land mines.

"DAMN IT MIA, she's your sister, you will respect her, she did things for you and this country that I know you wouldn't even think about doing." Okay so what my mom is talking along with my little sister, it's my well I won't be nice about it. I have a dick, cock, penis, something girls don't have, I don't know how else to put it to you. "Mom it's okay, I'm used to it, I slept on my own cot, in my control tent." I looked my mom letting her know it was okay that Mia was always going to be weird about me. "but Mia my dick, has nothing to do with how I made in the military. It has everything to do with how hard I worked to get where I am, so please just learn that I will not change, I'm not a freak show, I am a woman I was always a woman, it's not my fault my DNA is a little different."

Well I really don't think she was expecting me to say I have a dick out loud but who cares everyone knows. We started to walk about to moms SUV I threw my bag in the back, I took shot gun, pissing Mia off in the process, who cares I'm 26 and It really doesn't matter.

Then it happened, I heard a scream. The first thing I did was duck and put my hand over my boot looking for the knife I used to keep there, my ears were ringing and I could feel my vision going fuzzy. I heard your voice chiming in "Santana it's okay honey were home you don't have duck anymore" I'm not stupid I know were home, I know were home, it smells like home, looks like it too. I looked up almost peaking around she wasn't lying. We were home, how long had I been freaking out? Was this normal? Well I knew it was kind of normal, when I reached for the handle and looked at your beautiful home I was so happy to not be worrying who was going to jump out, or shoot at the house. Stepping out of that car was hard, when I boots scuffed along the driveway to the back of the SUV I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder, walked up to my childhood home, swung open the door and there he was Bug my loving and most awesome dog in the world, he tackled me to the ground licking my face whining and whimpering "you know I think Bug missed you more than we did, he slept by your bedroom door, and when we would let him in he would cry for you"

I was scratching behind your ears, "well hey hey hey mister, I miss you too come on lets go unpack" it was almost like he knew, that I wasn't going anywhere again, I ran upstairs skipping steps with Bug hot on my heals I opened up the door to my old room, well nothing's changed same black walls, I did take down most of my posters and things cause I didn't want you to have to do it just in case I had been killed or taken. Bug and I unpack, well I unpacked he just looked at me, when I finished I looked down at you "want to go for a walk Bug?" that was by far the silliest question that's ever come out of my mouth. So before he even did anything I looked at him "come on asshole lets go"

I didn't know where I was going when I stepped out of the house, I was still in my uniform, but I did it anyway who doesn't love a woman in uniform walking her German Sheppard, so we walked some times ran and then we made it a dog park? Really now I didn't know we had one, either way I did being your ball to throw around, so we spent an hour or so play catch and rolling around with each other, the I saw something I didn't make me freak out. Or even duck, I perked up. She had blond hair, I was a sucker for blonds, she turned and seen me just looking at with what I would imagine to be one of many lovey dovey looks I planned to give her, '_oh shit she's looking me.. oh shit she's walking over here act cool military training and all' _and before I knew what was happening "hey, you have a beautiful dog, whets his name?" I just kind of looked at you and kept on looking, Bug being my right and man nudged my leg snapping me outta my love spell trance "oh yeah yeah sorry. I'm sorry, this s Bug, and I'm Santana" I stuck my hand out for you to shake and you did.

Holy shit your hands were soft, so damn soft I just wanted to hold your hand forever "well you both are so damn cute together I had to come over at least get this handsome guys name"

Am I blushing is that was the heat from my face is? I could feel my hears getting warm OH god this hasn't happened since one of the guys from the day shift hit on me.. I had to tell him he wouldn't be into me cause I wasn't into him, it was hard meeting him cause he didn't know about my penis otherwise he wouldn't have asked that's what made me blush

'I.. I um, I'm sorry cute?.. NO don't answer that, um errm.. shit" and then I was cut off by you

"I'm Brittany, and I was wondering if you would like to get some coffee?" she was now blushing ears were like fire, I wanted to touch them to see how warm they really were

"coffee? Me? Me and coffee? It just that I don't really know how to do the coffee thing, I just got home and really you're the first person I've talked to since I've been home that wasn't family… I am babbling, um coffee? Yes coffee, I would love to have coffee with a beautiful woman with amazing eyes" I think I forgot to breathe cause I was sucking it so much air I was almost choking on it

"not only can you charm? But you look sexy in uniform." It happened, I was choking on my air I started coughing I'm having a coughing fit. Shit shit, there is no sand to inhale what the fuck. And then you handed me a bottle of water OH MY GOD THANK YOU was all I could think as a sucked down the water when I could speak finally "oh my god thank you. I just sometimes I forget I'm home and I have these flash backs and when you took my breath away I thought I was breathing in sand, but then I realized it was just the beauty of you"

Did I really just say any of that out loud? Lopez get it together. Oh god its happening again I'm spacing out, but not about the war, well now I kind of am spacing out about the war. Wait what was I thinking about. Her lips oh yeah she talking, her muffled sounds were turning into words ".. you know you're really cute when you space out" she had the warmest smile I think I've seen, and the way it made me feel like I was jumping out of my own skin to touch her.

"I.. uh crap, coffee? Please? Can we get coffee so I can have something in my mouth other than my foot?" good job Lopez, keep talking like this and she might just turn and walk away and you won't have to deal with interacting with a woman ever again, not that I don't love women it's just I don't know they know how to talk to me better then I know how to talk to them.

"I have something you can put in your mouth…"

"shit fuck what, so do I? fuck no I don't.. well yes I do, wait, Brittany you have me in worst way babbling to the point where my dog is looking at me like I'm crazy." And bug really was he looked up at me with his eyes almost narrowed. His ear twitched, and it happened he whined and I dropped to my knees I hugged him and kissed his head "I promise Bug I'm not going anywhere, I love you too much to leave again" and with that he licked my face nudging my hand with the ball still in it. I looked up at Brittany and handed her the ball " if he plays with you I will so get coffee with you"

She smile at me and whipped the ball across the pack, Bug looked up at me and I cocked my head in the area that the ball was in and he took off, well I still have it. I smiled to myself, he still knows everything command we had.

When he came back giving Britt the ball, this shocked me someone else would throw but he would drop it at me feet, he didn't care that I wasn't throwing his ball huh, I think I might be a little jealous

"I think I'm jealous, he's never done that he always beings the ball back to me. And makes me hand it to whoever is throwing" I smiled at her with my eyes saying '_coffee? Please?' _

"So does this mean we can get coffee?" it's almost like she could read my mind. Will this being said I could tell I was smiling all teeth, I did something I was even expecting, I held her hand and lead her out of the park "coffee. Yes." We made it to the parking lot and it hit me "well fuck. I ran here I didn't drive"

"come on my car is up here, and if you're wondering NO I don't have a dog, my cat Lord T had a gang meeting at this location and I wanted to catch him in the act but that never happened"

Wait huh? I didn't know what was going on "your cats in a gang? Can that even happen? And would you be willing to take me home? So I can get Bug some food and what not and maybe change before we go out?"

I watched Brittany tape her finger on her chin, I wonder what she's thinking "I can't handle that, but, the only think I don't like is you changing. If I asked you to stay dressed as you are would you be willing to do that for me?"

Chick and the thing they was with chicks in uniform.. "I mean if that's what you want the sure but can I at the very least keep my camo shirt on and flit into some comfy jeans? I'll keep the boots and shirt but I need to get out of this coat and these pants" and there comes that beautiful smile "anything for you" was all she could say.

The drive home wasn't bad, we just listened to the radio Bug had his head out the back window as were pulled in to the drive way, my family and I don't live in the best part of town, and how I know this is that it happened again, this time it was a gunshot maybe 3 blocks away, we had one foot out of the car, I had it to her side first, I tackled her to the ground I think she could see the daze in my eyes I was having a flash back. Her voice started coming in and out again "San tell me what to do? Are you in full combat mode? Cause if so we could get inside where it's safer" she rolled me off of her leaning against the car, she opened the back door, Bug moved slow, "look at me Santana tell me what you want me to do, from the looks of it we can b line it to the house, hey look at me, we can make it through this okay?" I just nodded .

She grabbed my jacket and started dragging me to my house "its open just walk in front of me please I don't want them to see me like this" so she opened the door, "it doesn't seem anyone is home" Bug walked in and laid by the couch, I think he knew the lady he didn't know needed time for a moment

"come with me" I put my hand out to her, to my shock she took my hand and I made my way up the stairs with her behind me and once I opened my door I could feel something happening. She was facing me now, and unbuttoning my uniform jacket, I could feel her fingers, moving over my chest, and around my shoulders dropping the jacket to the floor. "May I..? Can I kiss you?" She asked before I could even think to answer I moved in a pressed a soft kiss on her lips, I moved my hands to her hips moving under her shirt to feel this skin on her back how smooth she was how, I felt her pulling my shirt from my pants, she moved her hands under the front of my shirt. Her hand are so soft that I can't figure out what to do until she slips her tongue past my lips, and I couldn't help but moan into her mouth, I was growing hard, my compression shorts were starting to hurt. When I pulled away she whimpered "I need to tell you cause I've sure you don't know, I.. um u have a penis"

She cocked a brow at me "you think I can't see it? You are so beautiful that I can't imagine you any other way" she reached for the belt of my pants and I could feel them slide down my legs, I pulled her shirt over her head, as she did the same with mine, both being thrown across the room somewhere, I reached for her shorts and pulled them down "I haven't done this in a really long time and I've kind of scared I don't want you to think I'm bad or even yet a virgin cause it's been that long"

She just smiled at me and reached into my compression shorts and stroked my extremely hardening cock. She leaned in "in not that worried about it baby"

Oh god I'm in for it now I have the dumbest grin on my face


	2. Chapter 2

I was nervous she could tell cause I was still a little shaky from my flash back, and she just look at me with those bright blue eyes. All I could think was '_they are ever so inviting'. _She removed her hand from my compression shorts and rubbed my ears with thumb almost knowing it would sooth me.

"its okay San, I'm here and for some reason you have all of me whatever you need in this moment or ever I will be there, just like I am now". I wasn't sure if there were tears in my eyes or not. I leaned forward and kissed her so lightly, I am scared the things that I'm scared of cant hurt me here. And with Brittany, who I just met at the dog park has me feeling safer then the men and women who had my back, overseas. I kissed her again and asked "will you lay with me?" I'm so scared of everything right now I'm scared of what I might hear; she was on the bed before me, I laid on my back she told me to turn away from her, she held me from behind, for a short comical moment I thought '_being the damn little spoon'_ .

She didn't push me to talk or ask me what was wrong we just laid there half naked, I turned to her not being able to handle not see her. As I turned I felt her had slip down my back, her fingers fallowed my spine. She moved her fingers over the small of my back, leaving her hand just on my back giving me a smile as her pinky went just under the band of my compression shorts. "are you okay?" Brittany asked in the sweetest voice.

"mmmm" was all I could muster up, she moved forward just a bit so our noses were touching, all I could do is smile. I heard a buzz.. it was my phone, I reached over to my uniform jacket answering "hello, okay mami, um I have a new friend over.. I'll ask hold on". Put the phone to my shoulder "my moms over in the next town getting stuff for dinner? And if so spaghetti and meat balls or stuffed pork chops?". She just stared at me "we and spaghetti and meat balls" I just smiled at her "the first one ma, alright I love you too bye." I looked about at her. Something washed over me I just kissed her with all my passion and soul.

And the it happen a noise, something crashed in the house, I scrambled for something, anything. My gun I had a gun, I didn't realize Brittany and went to see what it was. When I decided the knife in my now put on pant would do, as I walked down stairs.. I seen in "BUG.. mami is going to KILL you. You broke her favorite vase" I went and got the broom and cleaned it up when I went to taws If I felt a hand on my shoulder, I shook and she knew I was still shaken I turned to her telling "I'm sorry". All she did was smile and grabbed my hand and we laid back down I looked at her "I feel like I've known you from lives beyond this one." She kissed me again she looked at me and said " when two souls don't get it right they meet in the next life time maybe this is our souls chance to get it right.. by the way why why are you in bed with pants on" she removed my pants '_damn it Lopez control the boner_ 'she brushed my cock on accident surprised that I was turned on my her just taking off my pants, she touched me again I moved hips into her hand not thinking. She whispered in my "I want to feel you" all I could do was nod she slipped her and in my shorts "you're bigger than I thought" I flushed and ducked my head, she stroke the head of my cock she removed her hand from shorts hooking her thumbs at the ban pulling them down she kissed down my stomach and took all 7 inched in her mouth . I did not know what was going on and I knew I wasn't going to last I gasped "Britt I'm not gonna last' she lighting grabbed my balls and squeezed I was done for "I'm cuming pull out if you don't" and she sucked ever last drop of my _cum out of me. I lasted maybe 10min I panted "I'm sorry I didn't it not like I would go longer I'm" she_ kissed me to shut me up.

The front door slammed I flinch "fucking Mia I gotta talk to her about my ptsd" Brittany kissed my ear and said "lets help with dinner"

We dressed and went down stairs


End file.
